Y’know, I’ve been thinking a lot about the fate of this little notebook for a while.
I’m coming up on domain renewal, and every few days I get an email in my inbox warning me that it’s about to happen, and that my card’s about to be charged again.
I’ve flagged the email to look at later…because I’ve been debating on whether I should just drop the blog or not. Save the twenty bucks.
Because, as you can see, weeks and sometimes months go by between my posts.
And it’s because I lost sight of what this is supposed to be.
It’s a blog. A journal. A journal that I don’t mind sharing with the public. A way to force my thoughts into words, and to jerk myself out of my comfort zone.
And yet I always think of it as such a big “production”. I always think I have to come up with some totally new and life-shattering topic to post about, with some nugget of wisdom or a moral of the story a’la Aesop’s fables or some shit.
What is this about, illusions of grandeur? It’s just a damn blog. And it’s supposed to be a reflection of me.
And I’m not some old wise sage or anything. I’m a thirty-year-old biologist-turned-writer, who doesn’t know what the heck she’s doing, and who started this blog for that exact reason.
I’ve been following a blog by the lovely Leah Marjorie Cox. She actually committed to writing a blog post, every single week day.
And she does it. She really does. I wake up to an email from her every single weekday morning.
And you know what?
Sometimes it’s chock-full of wisdom and inspiration. Sometimes it’s just a rant. Sometimes it’s echoing a feeling of self-doubt she happens to be trudging through that morning.
Sometimes the moral or the message of the post is the exact same as yesterday’s, told in a different context.
Because that’s what life is. It’s lessons learned, and reinforced, through multiple contexts. Multiple experiences. Perhaps feeling two totally opposite things at two totally different times, and learning the same lesson from it somehow.
It’s OK to talk about the same thing. It’s OK to not have “original content” every single time I want to write.
Life is not linear.
Inspiration is not linear.
And I need to stop making this damn blog such a scary big deal to me.
This particular post here was much of my inspiration for writing today. Go and check it out. It’s as much about commitment as it is about writing and creativity.
See Shelley? That took all of ten minutes to write. So quit your scared whining, and start writing again!